New domain

I have a new domain for this blog where I will continue to update regularly.

http://revelationszero.com

Please update any links you may have. Thank you.

Guest Post Announcement

I have an announcement to make! Listen to me dammit!

I’ve made a guest post over at the blog Life of a Teenage Writer. You may have noticed the name of that blog over there on the right hand side. Why would it be there? Because I enjoy reading his blog. Mr. Daniels gives some very good advice, on running your blog and just on writing in general. If you write articles on a regular basis, or just run your own blog I’d definitely give the blog a read over.

I must admit, it drained from my rather small pool of ideas to write that guest post, but when I think about it I was probably never going to write that stuff here anyway. May as well help people…I suppose. I would also like to thank Mr. Daniels for pointing out that I don’t have an RSS button, something I could have sworn I did have. Well I shall get right on that!

Anyway, here’s a link to the guest post: Writing Content that Sells.

A Dream…

You stand up. The sky is black, no stars will light your path tonight. The Moon is nowhere to be seen. But you know it is night time.

You take in your surroundings. You are standing in the car park of your old school, but there are no cars. You call out for anybody who could be there. There is no one. You search your pockets. There is only a blank white piece of paper. You think it is photograph paper, but you’re not sure. Your hand feels slightly numb.

Why don’t you have your phone? You always have your phone. Why don’t you have your phone?

With a sudden sense of loathing, you start up the hill, walking up the road to your school’s main building.

(more…)

Unemployment uh…shmun..employment

It’s never fun when you don’t have any money.

An unfortunate side affect of the current economic climate is the incredible difficulty in getting a job. And earning money online simply isn’t going to keep me alive. I suppose this blog could be a decent money earner, if I had any decent writing talent. Which I don’t. Though I do have a lot of stories in my head…I suppose I could get them down on paper. Or on a website to be more exact. I could write a book! All fantastic ideas, but I kind of need the money now. You know…before I starve to death. There’s a reason this blog is on a free host ya know.

Still, I’m not really trying that hard to become successful online. I have a terrible ability to motivate myself, combined with a total lack of fresh ideas. And when lightning strikes and I do have an idea…I never have any damn paper to write it down. I’d also have to become a member of the social life that is being a blogger (hehe…before I edited that I’d spelt ‘booger’…ha, funny). I have seen this “Music Monday” thing going around, seems likes a good way to get my blog out there. But my preferred music isn’t quite what you’d call mainstream stuff. And the Music Mondays just seem like a cheap way to get a post and get people to look at your blog. ARGH! I’m torn between wanting to be legitimate and wanting to be a success. I hate having to make decisions.

If anyone needs me to do some trivial task, I’m fully willing to do whatever it is for minimum wage. Except sexual favours. I doubt my significant other would be too pleased with that

I have nothing to say

I did promise myself that this blog would be different to the myriad of failures I’ve had over the years. One post a week I said. Shouldn’t be too hard. Well apparently I don’t have anything to say. It’s a result of my old habits of self inflicted censorship, and I suspect it might take a while for me to shake loose those shackles holding me back.

It’s not really a case of me having nothing to say, I have loads to say. I’m just so used to hiding behind a false mask of my own that it’s difficult to let out. I will, in time I hope, be able to let everything out. I guess another thing holding me back is my desire to post only meaningful and interesting posts. Like my previous two. But that wasn’t the point behind this blog. Not the original point anyway. It was supposed to be personal, not thoughtful. After all, it is unhealthy to keep everything inside after all.

And what would be the point? I’m no writer. Never have been, not for lack of trying though. Do I want this blog to be popular and make money? Perhaps, but not at the cost of not making it into what I want it to be. Maybe I’ll start telling stories from my past? The sort of thing I have to keep well away from my other blog. Damn all this worrying about what people think of me!

Well, then, starting next Monday, one post a week on whatever the hell is in my head. No holding back, no pulling the punches. And if I get the hang of it I can start boosting that. Two or three a week perhaps. We’ll see.

Confession of a Supposed Abuser

Apparently I’m an abuser of children.

Before we go any further, I’d like to direct you towards this piece of news: Little Kids can be labeled as abusers. Does this mean I’m an abuser? When I was 4 years old, I committed the heinous act of slapping a female member of my class. Was I abusing her?

This is just another example of parents being way too protective of their children. If children can be labeled as abusers before they’re old enough to know what sex is then this sets a dangerous precedence for our futures. Its a sad day when children can no longer play in the garden like their parents used to.

What makes it even worse is that it’s only the boys in a class that get told off for this sort of thing. In my old school (which I no longer attend thankfully) a new doctrine has been brought in to protect the girls from the dangers of sexual harassment. Basically, all the guys were told to watch their wandering eyes. Girls, however, were given free reign to report any boy they wanted for any reason. If a girl didn’t like a guy, all she had to do was give his name to a teacher and lo and behold…instant suspension pending an investigation. The headmaster’s even taken it overboard to such an extent that he’s cracking down on legitimate couples. Suprise, asshole, but at that age (16-19) it’s all about mixing with the opposite sex. You can’t stop nature!

Virtual Warfare

On April 16th, 2007, Seung-Hui Cho massacred 32 people in Virginia Polytechnic Institute and State University. He then killed himself.

Jack Thompson, a US lawyer with a vendetta against Take Two Interactive, immediately proclaimed Cho had trained for committing the massacre in the game Counter-Strike. It seemed the answer was found. How could someone have committed such a heinous act? He had trainedon Counter Strike, lowering his inhibitions towards killing. Thompson was a genius. Just one problem.

(more…)

Bleeding Hearts Always Run Dry.

Being human is such a chore. It’s hard work, and I’m not entirely sure I’m up to it.

As I am right now, I quite simply give too much of myself away. I’m what my acquaintances call a “bleeding heart”. Basically, the happiness, comfort and wellbeing of everyone around me comes before my own. That’s not how it always used to be. I used to have this little shell of my own. I didn’t let myself get too close to anyone, and I didn’t let anyone too close to me. I thought I was safe.

I was.

But now I’m trying so hard to be liked, to be seen as a nice person that it’s leaving me open to disappointment. I know inside that all this people are fickle. I’ve worked so hard on being liked by everyone, that I’ve sort of faded into the background. Or at least it feels that way. I dunno. I’m just sure that if I were to just disappear, I’d be forgotten very, very quickly.

I remember one time, I gave away an entire meal to the three friends with me in the cafeteria, simply because they asked. I lied and said I wasn’t hungry. That meal had cost me €15. I didn’t eat at all that day…Or the day after. These people abuse my kindness, my inability to assert myself or say no.

They’re bleeding me dry.

Fuck them all.

And so we walk.

You know that cliche? The one that says every journey starts with a single step. Well, consider this that single step. Why am I doing this? I honestly can’t say. I’ve had lots of diaries, blogs and other assorted methods of getting my thoughts out. But none have ever stuck. One paid account, two blogger accounts and a wordpress.com account later I’m here. Am I going to stick this one out? Maybe, maybe not. But I won’t make the same stupid mistake I did with all the others. I won’t be telling my famiy and friends about this place.

Why? Because everyone has secrets from everybody. But if you don’t know who I am then those secrets probably can’t come back to haunt me. And so we come here. I have an outlet. I’m not saying you’re going to care about or even like what I write, but that’s never stopped me before. This is a journey for me I’ve restarted too many times…

And so we walk.